Moving Forward With Gel Spacer Placement and Radiation

My last post concerned the need for palliative radiation to keep the tumor from invading either the rectum, the bladder or both and my extreme fear of of the process for placing a spacer through the perineum to push the rectum away from the prostate and eliminate/limit damage to that important organ from the radiation. More on that process here.

I spent much of last week researching the whole process (protective gel placement as well as the 40 targeted radiation treatments) and chatting with men around the country who had been down this road.  What I came to discover was that about 1/3 of the men I spoke with had had SOME form of sedation and several were completely sedated.  Indeed two men said it was just their radiation oncologist's protocol and that their physicians liked it because it's crucial that a man be perfectly still during placement and the best way to guarantee that is if he's out like a proverbial light.  Makes sense to me.

So, I emailed my RadOnc and much to my delight, he called me back and said we'd figure out how to get it done under anesthesia. His office, although filled with compassionate professionals, is not licensed nor does it have crash equipment for putting people under.  He went on to say that he didn't care if I did the radiation near my house or further away at his office.  His primary concern was me.  He went on to say that I was "in the top 10% of patients" who were well researched and asked the very important questions.  Damn right I am.

Next week I'll meet with the RadOnc closest to home and see if I want him and his team to do the radiation.   He has a good resume, the John Muir Cancer Center has excellent reviews and I COULD WALK if I needed to.....it's that close.

I'm not having pain in that area, only what I would call noticeable discomfort and a realization my pelvis is "fuller" than it was 4 months ago.  This is the tumor expanding against the other organs

Therefore, the plan is to research one other option but then likely move forward with the gel placement and then I'll go get my glow on.

I'm proud of myself for remembering that I AM THE PATIENT,  I AM THE CONSUMER and I CAN FIRE professionals that don't meet my needs.

That said, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and just generally Happy Holidays to all. :)

A Decision I Have To Make

Hard choices.  My PSA has jumped in 3 months from 7.2 to 9.   Not good, The last MRI shows the tumor growing outside the prostate in the directions of both the bladder and the rectum, which means that shit just got very real.

My choices are to do nothing and let it happen, or take radiation "therapy" which will also include hormone deprivation "therapy."

The radiation "therapy" requires an injection of a gel through the perineum (google it if you aren't familiar with that anatomy) to protect the rectum, which is right next to the prostate as is the bladder.  BTW, whether you believe in God's creation or evolution, the male reproductive/urinary system is a poor design. Really poorly designed although many men think their genitals are God's gift to the world. But I'm terrified of the procedure.  I know women endure much worse during childbirth.....but I'm not a woman.  I'm just a terrified guy.

I don't like the idea of "radiating" ANYTHING.  I've watched too many videos of side effects from radiation.

So this week, I'll talk with my palliative care guy as well as a second opinion from a different oncologist as well as my PCP.

But I'm frightened.  Not of death, but the procedures to keep my quality of life reasonable.

And I'm frightened.