When we last spoke, I'd just had gold implanted as well as a biodegradable gel in preparation for radiation therapy to decrease the size/scope of the prostatic tumor that presses on organs in my pelvis.
Due to insurance/hospital bureaucracy, I had (was able to take) some extra time and go down to UCSF Medical library and be guided by a research librarian on how to pull up THE most recent data on my choices and I will always speak highly of research librarians.
When I crunched data and read the studies (BTW, I really had to up my knowledge of radiation measurements/dosages/terminology......but it was so vital to do so), I came down to about 14 studies I could put on a spreadsheet and really compare. There are no "good" choices when dealing with an aggressive, rapidly expanding tumor that is not curable. But here's what I came down to.
The 5 session SBRT radiation treatment makes the most sense. While there tends to be a spike in GU toxicity in the first 1 to 6 months post treatment, it tends to get back to baseline for the overwhelming majority of men by 3 months. Sexual function takes a hit but that's true regardless of the treatment. But this seems to be less so with this hypofractionated treatment and is usually treatable with those famous meds we've all seen advertised again........and again........and again..........and again.....and again.......ad nauseum. Trust me, if I get a 4 hour erection, I'm buying a Superbowl ad to announce it!
Colon function, as long as we get started quickly, probably shouldn't take to much of a hit due to the SpaceOAR and the accuracy of the machine they use. And any hit it does take, according to studies, should resolve quickly. I'm not too concerned there.
But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about treating my body with radiation.
I am.
But it seems to be the best choice of the ones available to me and one of the few that I am willing to introduce into my physicality.
I have to do something. I hurt. Not just discomfort, but pain. My joints and peripheral nerves have hurt for some time. Now I have perineal as well as pelvic pain, which are new experiences for me and it's quite different. So I have to bite the bullet and try to kill off as much of that damned tumor as I can, which means pretty much killing my prostate as well as assorted nerves, to relieve (one hopes) some of the new pain and keep me out of the operating room within a few months when surgeons would be trying to re-plumb things.
Chemo and the 8 months of Lupron (wretched stuff) really did damage my body in 2014 and doctors have often said I should have been on Lupron this entire time but I said no. I chose supplements, lower stress, cannabis in various forms, gentle exercise in various forms, avoidance of conflict as well as responsible attention to pain control.
The physicians have often said how "unusual" my cancer was and how it "didn't follow a normal pattern." Well, this is when it gets kind of normal in the sense of a rapidly expanding tumor that threatens to invade vital organs. One might say shit just got real.......but it's always seemed real.
So the decision is made. Just have to schedule an MRI and CT scan "simulation" session where they make a mold of my cakes (I'm gonna auction it off after this is done.....some foundation could use the $2-3!). Oh, I also get to have a urethrogram during the CT.......look that up if ya feel like it :) . I am SO excited (emphasis on sarcasm).
But, I'm really at a good place mentally with all this. Much better than I've been at times in the past.
So......
Color me grateful but still anxious :) Onward!
PS: If anyone would care for a link to the spreadsheet of studies I found most helpful, please leave a comment with a gmail address and I'll gladly share with you.
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