It's long since time for an update so I'll try and give you one here as to the status of my health and prognosis.
This is been a rough ride..... the eight years that I've been dealing with this. It's an ugly cancer that can be quite aggressive yet, even so, if you play your cards right you can live longer than experts suggest. In addition to the pain as described in previous posts, Saturday due to a slip trying to step over the suggested seat in the shower, I twisted my back and it sure feels a lot like when I blew a disc about 20 +/- years ago. It is absolute agony. If I just sit still I don't gasp for breath too often, on a 1-10 "pain scale", I hover around a 4 or 5. But when it comes time to move (or sneeze, couch, stand up/sit down, etc) and do things it's like somebody took an ice pick and stuck it in the base of my spine. They talk about a pain chart of 1 to 10; a blown desk in your back requires an Oppenheimer formula to describe. So there's that.
My torso aches just generally speaking. That would make sense with tumors spread throughout all four quadrants. This sciatic type pain that runs from groin down to my left foot remains, but the good news is that the swelling has decreased substantially. Now if we can just get the pain to follow suit I'll have things at a more manageable level.
I think it's safe to say that we're late in the fourth quarter. How about that? A football euphemism for me!? But seriously I know my body and my abilities decrease every day with a corresponding increase in pain and fatigue.
Fuck pain.
Love you, Scott. I wish I could relieve you of even a little bit of your pain.
ReplyDeleteJust found out about your passing. I'm pasting a short remark I posted on a friends facebook page who thought so much of you with love and affection. "I hope I can show as much grace and a love of life while I travel down the road that Scott has so eloquently shared with us. I never met him or talked to him but he has made my journey so much easier by sharing his own. I will miss his stories and life experiences. Thank you Callie Ellen Snyder for introducing me to this wonderful person. He will surely be missed."
ReplyDeleteI am sad to read about Scott's passing. I have no words through these tears. May he rest in peace.
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