Monday, April 18, 2016

2015 Continued

2015 was a difficult year.  I'd become depressed and angry.  My wonderful relationship was crashing, I was plowing through savings and 401k and, yes, living beyond my means.  Still living in the somewhat expensive duplex with the view of downtown Austin by myself and footing the whole bill.  My employer, Kinnser Software, finally reached the limit of FMLA and terminated me.  Friends and family got on with their lives and I was on my own.  Some of this was mine to own; it always was and continued to be very hard for me to ask for help.  I've always been able to do everything I needed to by myself.  So I rarely asked for help.

My PSA stayed immeasurable for the first few months, then rose to a .27, then to a .97 and I began 2016 with a rise to 1.27.  While PSA is only one indicator, in someone with my history, I knew what it meant.  Now I have to figure out the over $600 for the CAT scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvis to see what's going on.  Difficult on a $1505/mo income.

I moved from the duplex the beginning of December by myself except for the two guys I hired off Craigslist to help with the king sized bed, couch and dresser. I cleaned the whole place by myself and got the majority of the deposit back.  Then I stayed in a generous friend's spare bedroom and was wiped out for a week from moving everything to storage.  She and I had a falling out and I began to move to and from a series of cheap motels and friends couches.  Finally I was rescued by a dear set of friends.  I had a "home" to stay in.

These two ladies are parents to my favorite "adopted" nephew, their son who is almost 6 years
 old.  They have an RV that is 16 miles out in the country outside Fredericksburg, Texas.  I'd lived in Fredericksburg with my parents in the early 1980s.  It's a very conservative, tourist attraction town.  The RV was 16  miles outside the town on a sloping set of about 5 acres.  It had electricity and propane but no running water.  I learned quickly that there was a gym just inside town with a shower, so I spent $45 so I could have a place to shower and have the added benefit of a place to exercise.  I learned where to refill water jugs for 25 cents a gallon ("low price" Walmart was .37 cents) and, not having TV and very unreliable internet, NPR on the radio became my best friend.  But I was incredibly grateful for their thoughtful generosity and not having to live in my car.

It was a long, lonely 2 months.  My escape from purgatory to follow soon.

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