Wednesday, March 19, 2014

An Answer I Didn’t Want


The oncologist came in this morning with the pathology results.  The cancer in my lungs is indeed metastasized from the prostate.  His commentary was he’d only seen that in a couple of elderly men…..indeed extremely very, very, very rare.  This leaves me with difficult decisions to make in terms of treatment.  I’m vacillating between  being stoic and accepting what I’m facing and busting out into oceans of tears.  Prolly a good thing I’m still on 3 types of narcotics because of the plastic tube still in my chest and anti-anxiety meds. Being a little numb helps at the moment.

 

 More to follow when I’ve processed things.  Thanks to all for the support and love.

10 comments:

  1. Wow, that's one hell of a story ! Talk about "baptism by fire". I'm no cancer expert but it may be a blessing in disguise that the cancer in your lung is prostate cancer rather than lung cancer. Prostate cancer, no matter where it exists in your body grows more slowly and can be treated and slowed down with hormone treatment from what I understand----a small consolation after going thru what you have been thru.

    When you get home you'll probably want to eat a ton of broccoli sprouts (as part of an anti-cancer diet) and pomagranate seeds----but not before you have a nice big Texas steak and a carafe of red wine.

    Life can sure suck. Sounds like you've been thru Holy Hell this past month. Good luck, and please continue to keep us all informed as to your progress since that's all we will permit you to experience-----------progress.

    That's one hell of a story.

    PS. When I first saw your photo above I thought you were on the movie set of "Gravity", you were at the controls in the command module, and were about to re-enter the atmosphere.

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    1. James thank you for the suggestions. I tell ya, being "tied down" to a pole and various pumps/tubes the last few days has made that chair feel like a "command module." Forward!

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  2. I just want to let you know that my family and I are still praying for you, Iv known you for only a short time but you have already had an impact on my life. Keep the faith

    Proverbs 3:5-6
    Romans 8:28

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    1. Antonio, you are a special guy with a great heart and you have had a positive impact on my life as well in this short time. Looking forward to seeing you Monday :)

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  3. Scott, thinking of and praying for you. Found your blog from the Inspire site, and I'm a faithful subscriber to you! I said this on the other site, but your writing is incredibly eloquent and witty; I can imagine your writing WITHOUT a tube sticking out of your chest! Glenn and I are along for the ride with you on this prostate cancer train--a trip we don't really want to be on, but we as well have no choice. Knowledge is power, and comaraderie is priceless. We are all in this together.

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    1. Hi Lisa:
      I'll look forward to yours and Glenn's camaraderie on this unexpected and unwanted ride......and I sure hope I write as well without the tube cuz this sucker has gotta come out in the AM! It's just gotta!
      Warm thoughts to you both.

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  4. Instinct makes me scream fight fight! I will respect you always.I wish I had words to make you feel all the happiness it is to be your niece. I'll get ordained and travel if needed.

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    1. I have no knowledge of the name renagain but I can think imagine this is a wonderful, warm, loving niece that I haven't seen in far too long a time. Let's try to change that this year, ok? I love you.

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  5. I think a nice combination of tears and acceptance is in order and you have my permission to flip flop as often as is needed. Reminds me of one of my favorite gospel songs - we fall down, but we get up again.
    We are here for you regardless of your state of mind or health. I'll see and talk with you soon. Cathryn

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  6. D and I love you guys so very much.

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