I am now formally on hospice care. We're working toward good pain control and I don't really have to leave the house, so this is helpful.
In addition to the severe, chemo induced peripheral pain, I now have pain in my torso, which would make sense with mets to liver, lungs, and lymph nodes, both upper and pelvic. That's to say that the pain has moved into a new level.
My energy is still slim to none and standing for long periods is out of the question. I've also resigned myself to probably needing a wheel chair for outings as I can be very unsteady on my feet. There will be no ladder climbing in my future.
Emotionally I'm well all things considered. I'm enjoying life despite all that has come and will come my way and have been warmed by an outpouring of love and assistance from my nearby relatives. Talk about stepping up to the plate.
I've put in process California's Death with Dignity Act and made the appropriate legal requests. I won't fight this to the bitter end with every possible treatment the medical establishment has to offer. I've seen it up close too many times and it's brutal and flat out ugly. I like options and Cali offers this as one. By the end of the month, I should have that option, and I'm relieved by that.
My energy is only available if I've taken a prescribed stimulant and even then, that's a temporary, artificial run for a few hours. Talking on the phone can be wearisome as can writing a message like this. So I've been out of touch and largely off Facebook.
Going forward I'll try to keep the blog updated for those who wish to keep track of my status. One reason I started the blog almost 8 years ago was so friends/family would have a central place to go for Status Updates. The blog turned into much more over the years with 43,000+ views, and numerous emails from men around the world seeking advice.
But at this point, I'm turning it back into a source for my current status so I encourage those of you who wonder how I'm doing and have a computer to please bookmark this page and I in turn will try to keep it updated. Sometimes I might be up for a phone call and would enjoy it. What I can't do is repeat the details of my current state several times a day.
Please help me accomplish this. Much love.
Though still in something of a state of disbelief and shock - like I reckon so many others are - I continue to send so much love your way. Along with admiration, gratitude, and deep respect.
ReplyDeleteLove and light to you dear Scott. I'm so happy you have choices on how you will live your days and for your supportive family & friends. You are loved.
ReplyDeleteDear Scott, I’m so sorry to hear this and sad that I won’t get to meet you this time around. Know that you’re in my heart and I send you lots of love, Barbara M
ReplyDeleteDear Scott my thoughts are with you…. I’m hoping to fly over in November so hang in there as you know where we will be Hvg brunch! Life is not easy as I lost my first husband with melanoma cancer of the Gaul Bladder in 5 months of us knowing he was a West Point graduate and had been to Vietnam so it was probably agent Orange … he was only 34 still think about him and miss him today! Love 💕 you xx
ReplyDeleteI love you very much my friend...as always you are in my heart
ReplyDeleteLove you so much Scott. I'm glad to hear that you are at peace and doing what is right for you, and that you have those options available to you. I'm a better person for having known you and your wonderful personality.
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